I had somehow convinced myself that today wouldn't be hard, it would just be any other day. Kelly and I had shared in conversation a couple nights ago how I felt rather unemotional about the one year mark of Caryn's passing. I asked how is one year any different than one day, one week, or one month? This morning I went for a run with Brody and it finally hit me...You see I miss my sister more than any words can describe, she was so many things to me, a best friend, a one time roommate, someone I could pick on, she was in all aspects my little sister.
So as we fast forward a year later from what sometimes still feels like a dream I often find myself in a whirlwind of emotions. But what I find that comforts me that most is that I feel like she is still with me, she is with all of us. She may not answer the questions I ask but she reminds me through memories and her smile that we will never forget. And I am convinced that she is the wind that pushes against my back on a hard run, she is the rainbow that we sometimes see, and that she will always be the first ray of sunshine that peaks over the Bay each morning.
I love you Caryn.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Feeling Great at 38
It's officially a week out from the Vermont 100 miler and today also happens to be my birthday. Never in a million years would I ever think that at my age I would be preparing for 100 mile races alongside preparing for back to school shopping, the two couldn't be further away from each other. However I've found a way to make it work, and making it work in a much simpler way.
The age of 37 brought too much to me, too much for my family. But through it all I've found a way to become more at peace with all that I've endured this past year. Undeniably my sister's death rocked me, it saddened me, and has also angered me, although it has also showed me how to live...my family has become ever more important and running has once again been my crutch.
So in saying all that I can't wait until next Saturday morning at 4 a.m., the start time of VT100. Without a doubt next weekend will be a great adventure. It will be time to see if all the hard training has really worked, it will be time to spend countless hours in the Green Mountains, it will be a great start to 38.
Basically it's...VERMONT OR BUST.
The age of 37 brought too much to me, too much for my family. But through it all I've found a way to become more at peace with all that I've endured this past year. Undeniably my sister's death rocked me, it saddened me, and has also angered me, although it has also showed me how to live...my family has become ever more important and running has once again been my crutch.
So in saying all that I can't wait until next Saturday morning at 4 a.m., the start time of VT100. Without a doubt next weekend will be a great adventure. It will be time to see if all the hard training has really worked, it will be time to spend countless hours in the Green Mountains, it will be a great start to 38.
Basically it's...VERMONT OR BUST.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Eastern Divide 50k...ready or not
This past weekend we headed out to the mountains of southwest Virginia and ran the Eastern Divide 50k. It turned out to be a great race, great weekend, and a good chunk of hills, just what I wanted. This was also the last race in my training for VT100. Now it's time to trust my training, start honing in my nutrition, and getting some rest(that'll be the tough part). Here's the race in a nutshell.
Eastern Divide is a point to point race that is ran at ~4000' for most of the race and according to my new GPS Fenix ascends nearly 5500' and descends roughly 3700'. We parked near Mountain Lake and were shuttled to the start at the Cascades trail. The first few miles were pretty tough climbing almost 1800' and offered some great views including a massive waterfall around mile 2. After making our way to the first aid station we climbed another 500' and started a slow descent. The next 10-12 miles were rolling fire roads some with panoramic views of neighboring West Virginia.
Around mile 17 or so we started another tough climb that would lead us into single track trails that began at mile 22. All day long the trails were great, never crowded, and the people we met were pretty cool. The race must have been pretty legit because a couple of the people we met were using it as 100 mile training. Aid stations were top notch and the volunteers were outstanding. After winding through trails lined with huge hemlocks and ferns we had a short meadow crossing and then one final descent that would eventually wrap us around Mountain Lake and shortly after we would cross the finish line.
We moved all day at a consistent pace, never being passed by another runner, and passing aprox. a half dozen or more. Our pace on the climbs was nice and we were even commended on how quickly we moved up them, not too bad eh? All in all everything about Eastern Divide was great, the race director made sure to congratulate every runner that crossed the finish line. After a quick wardrobe change we grabbed some good grub and a fat tire rolle bolle and watched a few more runners cross the line.
To sum it up the race was more than we wanted and we ran a pretty decent race for a couple flatlanders. Kelly again managed to PR ( I should mention that this was her third 50k of the season and third PR, pretty badass huh?). So now it's go time. Time to officially put my 100 mile hat on and get mentally focused.
Eastern Divide is a point to point race that is ran at ~4000' for most of the race and according to my new GPS Fenix ascends nearly 5500' and descends roughly 3700'. We parked near Mountain Lake and were shuttled to the start at the Cascades trail. The first few miles were pretty tough climbing almost 1800' and offered some great views including a massive waterfall around mile 2. After making our way to the first aid station we climbed another 500' and started a slow descent. The next 10-12 miles were rolling fire roads some with panoramic views of neighboring West Virginia.
Around mile 17 or so we started another tough climb that would lead us into single track trails that began at mile 22. All day long the trails were great, never crowded, and the people we met were pretty cool. The race must have been pretty legit because a couple of the people we met were using it as 100 mile training. Aid stations were top notch and the volunteers were outstanding. After winding through trails lined with huge hemlocks and ferns we had a short meadow crossing and then one final descent that would eventually wrap us around Mountain Lake and shortly after we would cross the finish line.
We moved all day at a consistent pace, never being passed by another runner, and passing aprox. a half dozen or more. Our pace on the climbs was nice and we were even commended on how quickly we moved up them, not too bad eh? All in all everything about Eastern Divide was great, the race director made sure to congratulate every runner that crossed the finish line. After a quick wardrobe change we grabbed some good grub and a fat tire rolle bolle and watched a few more runners cross the line.
To sum it up the race was more than we wanted and we ran a pretty decent race for a couple flatlanders. Kelly again managed to PR ( I should mention that this was her third 50k of the season and third PR, pretty badass huh?). So now it's go time. Time to officially put my 100 mile hat on and get mentally focused.
This year so has had many up and downs but training for Vermont has allowed me to take small breaks and just run. My training this year has given me a new found love for the mountains. I feel that I have experienced and grown more as a person and runner in these last few months than the last couple years. I can't wait for Vermont, I am counting the days. I can only hope that this year is half as good as last. 
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Two for one
A little more than two weeks ago Kelly and I packed the truck and headed out to beautiful West Virginia for the Capon Valley 50k for a day of rain, mud, and hills. Capon was also five weeks post surgery so with a lack of good training I wasn't sure how I would bounce back.
Once we arrived and picked up our bibs we walked back to where we had parked to finish getting ready for the rest of our day. The race started on time and after a mile or so of grass and pavement we hit the trails. It rained for the first couple hours of the race but even if it had been a sunny start our feet would have still been wet due to the fifteen water crossings (this is an estimated guess). The course was everything I was hoping for in fact it was almost like a miniature VT100. It had the right amount of climbing, flats, and downhills. I even had the chance to meet another runner who was training for his first 100, and even better his first VT100.
The course quickly turned rather muddy but I still really enjoyed it, although it would be a great course to run on a drier day. Finally after many ups, downs, mud, and yes more water crossings we finished the race in pretty good shape. We grabbed some post race food, chatted about the race and then made the drive back to Maryland. All in all a really fun experience.
Next in line was my second chance to get my much needed 50 miler in the books. We would head to Philadelphia for the Dirty German Endurance Festival. Kelly ran the 25k and reminded me that she isn't the one training for a 100 miler. Although she's right I'm more than confident that I will have the best trained pacer on the VT100 course, and to prove it she finished 18th overall female!
The 50mile course consisted of a short 3.5 mile loop and then 3 15.5 mile loops. The terrain was a mix of single and double track that had minimal climbing but did roll and then a stretch of pavement that covered 3.5 miles. I wasn't too pressed on running for a time rather hoping that I could focus on a solid nutrition/hydration schedule. For the most part I did a pretty good job and subsequently ran a sub 10 hour race.
I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't run the Dirty German 50 Miler again, not because it wasn't ran great or because I didn't care for the course, but because I am finding that I prefer to head away from cities to run. I'm finding that the more time I spend running trails the more I find myself more at home and excited in the smaller mountains and hills that are a short car drive away. And although you'll find me getting my weekday mileage in on the pavement my thoughts are in planning which trail I'll run on my free weekends.
These two races were much different both in distance and in atmosphere. Without a doubt, despite not having the best weather, I enjoyed Capon over DG. Perhaps it's because I enjoy the walk breaks I get on the climbs or the the quietness and solitude you can find on more rural races. I again found a way to use these races as tools, for both my training and life.
The countdown for Vermont is on and I can't wait...it's going to be a special day.
Once we arrived and picked up our bibs we walked back to where we had parked to finish getting ready for the rest of our day. The race started on time and after a mile or so of grass and pavement we hit the trails. It rained for the first couple hours of the race but even if it had been a sunny start our feet would have still been wet due to the fifteen water crossings (this is an estimated guess). The course was everything I was hoping for in fact it was almost like a miniature VT100. It had the right amount of climbing, flats, and downhills. I even had the chance to meet another runner who was training for his first 100, and even better his first VT100.
The course quickly turned rather muddy but I still really enjoyed it, although it would be a great course to run on a drier day. Finally after many ups, downs, mud, and yes more water crossings we finished the race in pretty good shape. We grabbed some post race food, chatted about the race and then made the drive back to Maryland. All in all a really fun experience.
Next in line was my second chance to get my much needed 50 miler in the books. We would head to Philadelphia for the Dirty German Endurance Festival. Kelly ran the 25k and reminded me that she isn't the one training for a 100 miler. Although she's right I'm more than confident that I will have the best trained pacer on the VT100 course, and to prove it she finished 18th overall female!
The 50mile course consisted of a short 3.5 mile loop and then 3 15.5 mile loops. The terrain was a mix of single and double track that had minimal climbing but did roll and then a stretch of pavement that covered 3.5 miles. I wasn't too pressed on running for a time rather hoping that I could focus on a solid nutrition/hydration schedule. For the most part I did a pretty good job and subsequently ran a sub 10 hour race.
I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't run the Dirty German 50 Miler again, not because it wasn't ran great or because I didn't care for the course, but because I am finding that I prefer to head away from cities to run. I'm finding that the more time I spend running trails the more I find myself more at home and excited in the smaller mountains and hills that are a short car drive away. And although you'll find me getting my weekday mileage in on the pavement my thoughts are in planning which trail I'll run on my free weekends.
These two races were much different both in distance and in atmosphere. Without a doubt, despite not having the best weather, I enjoyed Capon over DG. Perhaps it's because I enjoy the walk breaks I get on the climbs or the the quietness and solitude you can find on more rural races. I again found a way to use these races as tools, for both my training and life.
The countdown for Vermont is on and I can't wait...it's going to be a special day.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
2 weeks of what!?!
Instead of preparing for BRR 50 miler this coming weekend I am finding myself trying to prepare for the next week and a half of absolutely no running. This past Saturday night I had my appendix removed, unexpectedly and a little unwilling...c'mon I had a race in one week! Doctor's orders are simple: No running for the next two weeks, no strength or core training for a month. I'm already feeling better but trying to mentally grasp this notion has been more than tough.
When I was first given the news that me and my unhappy appendix had to part ways, and it wasn't gas from a couple days of unhealthy eating, I was filled with disappointment and immediately began flipping through my mental calendar. This weekend was a big part of my VT100 training, followed by two fairly challenging 50k's the next two months. However now that things have settled I know that I still have plenty of time to train and prepare.
I've always found a way to understand that "things happen for a reason" and this is no different. For the last few years the longest span that I haven't ran has probably only been a week at the most, simply put I haven't taken a break. SOoo this is it, this is my break. After the next couple weeks when I return smart and slowly to running I should have no excuse not to feel great and my legs refreshed and start kicking some butt again.
John
When I was first given the news that me and my unhappy appendix had to part ways, and it wasn't gas from a couple days of unhealthy eating, I was filled with disappointment and immediately began flipping through my mental calendar. This weekend was a big part of my VT100 training, followed by two fairly challenging 50k's the next two months. However now that things have settled I know that I still have plenty of time to train and prepare.
I've always found a way to understand that "things happen for a reason" and this is no different. For the last few years the longest span that I haven't ran has probably only been a week at the most, simply put I haven't taken a break. SOoo this is it, this is my break. After the next couple weeks when I return smart and slowly to running I should have no excuse not to feel great and my legs refreshed and start kicking some butt again.
John
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Seneca Creek Recap
Keep moving forward. It sounds simple right? Many times throughout ultra events I'll remind myself that every step taken is one step closer to finishing. You'll often hear the same thing from other runners, whether it's advice they are passing on to newbies or its simply them offering self-reassurance. This past weekend the first part of the my VT100 puzzle fell into place and I successfully completed the Seneca Creek 50k or 34 miler.
Kelly and I headed out with coffee in hand and a bag of chocolate covered mini doughnuts, our pre-race breakfast of choice, hoping that a fun day in the woods was ahead. After arriving and making our way to the start with the help of a friendly volunteer we and a few friends waited for the gun. I'm not exactly sure what the temperature was at the beginning of the race but I will now admit shorts were a poor choice. Once the race was on it's way I tried my best to keep telling myself that this was supposed to be more of a training run rather than a "race". Outside of the first 15 miles or so that notion finally sank in and I did my best to think about walk breaks, nutrition, and hydration. And after crossing the finish line my idea to wear shorts was still a bad idea.
For the most part Seneca turned out just as I had wished. I more than likely drank way too much sports drink and not enough water, hence the sour stomach, and should have wore tights because of the colder weather, my hammies got a little crampy over the last few miles. Kelly and I both were pleased with our day on the trails. It was a day ran high on emotion for many different reasons and like I said before it was the first piece of the puzzle.
Up next...Bull Run Run 50 Miler
Kelly and I headed out with coffee in hand and a bag of chocolate covered mini doughnuts, our pre-race breakfast of choice, hoping that a fun day in the woods was ahead. After arriving and making our way to the start with the help of a friendly volunteer we and a few friends waited for the gun. I'm not exactly sure what the temperature was at the beginning of the race but I will now admit shorts were a poor choice. Once the race was on it's way I tried my best to keep telling myself that this was supposed to be more of a training run rather than a "race". Outside of the first 15 miles or so that notion finally sank in and I did my best to think about walk breaks, nutrition, and hydration. And after crossing the finish line my idea to wear shorts was still a bad idea.
For the most part Seneca turned out just as I had wished. I more than likely drank way too much sports drink and not enough water, hence the sour stomach, and should have wore tights because of the colder weather, my hammies got a little crampy over the last few miles. Kelly and I both were pleased with our day on the trails. It was a day ran high on emotion for many different reasons and like I said before it was the first piece of the puzzle.
Up next...Bull Run Run 50 Miler
Thursday, February 28, 2013
What's in a name?
After more than a year and a half of writing about my running, training for a 100 miler, and random thoughts it was time for a change. I have come to realize that as my blog was entitled "The Stumbling Path to 100" that I no longer am stumbling, in fact I find that now I have a better outlook on life than I have in years past. I have decided to rename my blog with the title "Trails and Tribulations". The word tribulation is defined as " An experience that tests one's endurance, patience, or faith". Without a doubt my races have done such a thing and so has my life over the last few months. And only fitting is that many of these tests are found on the trails I wander.
This weekend I will be heading out to run the Seneca Creek 50k/marathon. It should be a fun day that hopefully will bring a good race report.
This weekend I will be heading out to run the Seneca Creek 50k/marathon. It should be a fun day that hopefully will bring a good race report.
Monday, February 18, 2013
A Change of Scenery
How do you spell a good weekend? It's easy - hills, trails, good food, and brew. This past weekend Kelly and I took a short weekend away to hit Old Rag and The Priest. In between we stayed the night in Charlottesville. It was a great time.
I am doing my best to make a concerted effort to add more hills and "vertical miles" to my training this year. The lack of this type of training combined with some inexperience hampered me quite a bit last year at VT100. We arrived late Saturday morning to Old Rag and got lucky with pretty good weather. This was my first time doing Old Rag and was a little nervous that we would encounter big crowds because of it's popularity. There were a handful of people on the trail but it wasn't what I would call crowded. We ran what we could and hiked at a fast pace until we had to do some rock scrambling. Once we reached the summit the views were spectacular. We made it back down in good time despite the ice and snow and we even had a chance to run at a good clip on the downhills of the fire road. I can't wait to go back.
Saturday evening we checked into our room and spent a little time in C'ville (near UVA's campus), which also happened to be one of the places that Kelly went to school and worked. We had dinner at a place called the Mellow Mushroom, which is a pizza joint that has literally about 30 different beers on tap and has some great pie, then got ready for Day 2.
Sunday morning we packed the truck and got breakfast from Bodos, a famous bagel shop on "The Corner". We took our breakfast and coffee and drove out to the trailhead for The Priest. The weather was cold, 25 degrees, and windy with a fair amount of snow on the ground. Because of the ice and snow we weren't able to run like we had wished but we did keep a decent pace as we made our way up the mountain and climb a little over 3000' in 4 miles (at least that's what we read). Again I can't wait to tackle this trail again it was a blast.
This weekend was exactly what I needed, probably what both of us needed. We laughed a lot, told stories about each other, talked about goals, and talked a lot about my sister Caryn. It's funny that even though she has been gone for 2 months that her spirit is even stronger. And it's through my sister's spirit that I know that this year is going to be special. In saying that, it is a new year so perhaps it's time for a new name for my blog. I don't feel as though I am stumbling anymore...
I am doing my best to make a concerted effort to add more hills and "vertical miles" to my training this year. The lack of this type of training combined with some inexperience hampered me quite a bit last year at VT100. We arrived late Saturday morning to Old Rag and got lucky with pretty good weather. This was my first time doing Old Rag and was a little nervous that we would encounter big crowds because of it's popularity. There were a handful of people on the trail but it wasn't what I would call crowded. We ran what we could and hiked at a fast pace until we had to do some rock scrambling. Once we reached the summit the views were spectacular. We made it back down in good time despite the ice and snow and we even had a chance to run at a good clip on the downhills of the fire road. I can't wait to go back.
Saturday evening we checked into our room and spent a little time in C'ville (near UVA's campus), which also happened to be one of the places that Kelly went to school and worked. We had dinner at a place called the Mellow Mushroom, which is a pizza joint that has literally about 30 different beers on tap and has some great pie, then got ready for Day 2.
Sunday morning we packed the truck and got breakfast from Bodos, a famous bagel shop on "The Corner". We took our breakfast and coffee and drove out to the trailhead for The Priest. The weather was cold, 25 degrees, and windy with a fair amount of snow on the ground. Because of the ice and snow we weren't able to run like we had wished but we did keep a decent pace as we made our way up the mountain and climb a little over 3000' in 4 miles (at least that's what we read). Again I can't wait to tackle this trail again it was a blast.
This weekend was exactly what I needed, probably what both of us needed. We laughed a lot, told stories about each other, talked about goals, and talked a lot about my sister Caryn. It's funny that even though she has been gone for 2 months that her spirit is even stronger. And it's through my sister's spirit that I know that this year is going to be special. In saying that, it is a new year so perhaps it's time for a new name for my blog. I don't feel as though I am stumbling anymore...
Friday, January 4, 2013
A new year, a new pair of shoes, and a whole lot of hope
They say you can never really understand someone's life or problems until you've walked a mile in their shoes...I learned this first hand nearly 3 weeks ago when I lost my sister. Seemingly enough when a friend had lost a loved one I would always say, "I'm sure it's tough and I can hardly imagine what you are going through". On December 15th at 11:45 a.m. my life changed and I had put those proverbial shoes on my feet. Caryn died unexpectedly and without warning she left a world that she loved and a life that she cherished. Now as the New Year has arrived and each day passes I have found that I am relying on running more than ever.
Last month I made the decision to sign up for the Vermont 100 miler. I signed up for this race two and a half weeks before my sister passed. I had hoped that training this winter and spring would be different and that I could share some of my love for running and hiking with Caryn (She had been training to walk the Disney half-marathon next weekend) and hope that she could get a glimpse of why I do what I do. I had hoped that she would be part of my 100 mile journey. But now just as I had "hoped" I am hopeful...
I'm hopeful that I don't lose focus on everything that is important in my life. I am hopeful that my months of upcoming training are successful because now this race means much more. And finally I am hopeful that the hollow feeling in my chest will slowly close to only be replaced by the energy of my sister's smile.
Happy New Year to all and remember to make it GREAT!!!
Last month I made the decision to sign up for the Vermont 100 miler. I signed up for this race two and a half weeks before my sister passed. I had hoped that training this winter and spring would be different and that I could share some of my love for running and hiking with Caryn (She had been training to walk the Disney half-marathon next weekend) and hope that she could get a glimpse of why I do what I do. I had hoped that she would be part of my 100 mile journey. But now just as I had "hoped" I am hopeful...
I'm hopeful that I don't lose focus on everything that is important in my life. I am hopeful that my months of upcoming training are successful because now this race means much more. And finally I am hopeful that the hollow feeling in my chest will slowly close to only be replaced by the energy of my sister's smile.
Happy New Year to all and remember to make it GREAT!!!
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